I was diagnosed with anxiety in my teens. I remember sitting in my accounting class in High School and all of a sudden feeling hot and antsy. I felt an overwhelming urge to run from the room. I felt like everyone was looking at me. This kept happening and my doctor diagnosed me with anxiety and put me on medicine. After High School, my anxiety wasn't as frequent. From the age of 18-20 I became a party girl. I went a little wild. I was doing a lot of drugs in the clubs every weekend. When I was 20 I went over to a friend's house and did too much cocaine. It made my heart go out of rhythm and I experienced my first panic attack. I thought I was dying. My heart was skipping. My friends were talking about dropping me off in front of the hospital and leaving. I feel like I really came close to dying that night.  I eventually calmed down and went home. The next day when I woke up, I was fine. I got in the bathtub to take a bath and all of a sudden the same thing happene

I have been trying to be more positive. It has been hard but I've been trying to make a valiant effort. I think I'm broken. Imagine taking a crystal vase and dropping it on concrete. Now take all those pieces and try to fit them back together to make a whole Vase again. You may get it together but more than likely you will have pieces missing and it won't be as strong as before. I am like that vase. I know many others are like that vase too. If you put too much pressure on it it will collapse in on itself.  I don't want to shatter the instant someone does something to upset me or doesn't give me the attention I'm needing. I got a new monitor the other day. One I've been waiting for for a while. It's an MSI 240hz monitor. It is supposed to be an excellent gaming monitor to help give me an edge in my competitions. I was so excited to hook it up and see how much better I was going to be. I set up my Twitch stream and got ready for a night of gam