I was diagnosed with anxiety in my teens. I remember sitting in my accounting class in High School and all of a sudden feeling hot and antsy. I felt an overwhelming urge to run from the room. I felt like everyone was looking at me. This kept happening and my doctor diagnosed me with anxiety and put me on medicine. After High School, my anxiety wasn't as frequent. From the age of 18-20 I became a party girl. I went a little wild. I was doing a lot of drugs in the clubs every weekend. When I was 20 I went over to a friend's house and did too much cocaine. It made my heart go out of rhythm and I experienced my first panic attack. I thought I was dying. My heart was skipping. My friends were talking about dropping me off in front of the hospital and leaving. I feel like I really came close to dying that night.  I eventually calmed down and went home. The next day when I woke up, I was fine. I got in the bathtub to take a bath and all of a sudden the same thing happene

I am making progress. Albeit, slow progress. I can already see a change in how I think. If I have a negative thought, I acknowledge it then let it go and replace it with a positive thought. I have been writing down what I am grateful for every day in my journal. That has made it routine for me to notice the things that are going right for me. Even when I am not writing. I am getting more comfortable with meditating. In the beginning, I couldn't quiet my mind. Now with practice, I can focus better. I am also noticing when my mind starts racing that I can recognize and stop it. I am slowly adding physical activity. Right now I am doing 10 minutes of cardio about 3 times a week. I am trying to make it an everyday thing. It has been hard since I still have a lot of anxiety and I haven't been feeling well. Which really sucks because exercise is one of the best things for anxiety.  Something shifted in my brain this week. Mental illness and Narcolepsy have stolen a lot of

Things had been on a steady decline since January. I was doing trauma therapy and that brought up a lot of hard feelings to deal with. Everything came to a head in June. My therapist left me to go to private practice. This was the first therapist I had connected with. Therapy was finally working for me and now I was going to have to start over and find a new therapist. I started having major panic attacks at work and breaking down at my desk. I ended up taking a leave of absence from work.  In July my boyfriend broke up with me. We had only been dating for a short time, but it really affected me. The short time we were together was the happiest I had been in years. Life felt normal and worth living. It was my fault for the break-up. I didn't handle it well at all. I started falling apart. I was crying all the time. I couldn't get up to do anything. I started having thoughts of suicide. My quality of life was very poor. I was not taking care of myself. I didn't shower for da