I am on a new sleep medicine. It does not help me sleep. It actually sped me up so I stayed up and rewatched, "Your Name". Then I had the dilemma of quietly crying so my roommates couldn't hear me. Omg that movie is so good. If you haven't seen it, you must watch it! It is my #2 Anime Movie. Soundtrack is amazing. I love love.  One day I will find someone who deems me worthy of their love. I have so much love to give. I feel like I would be an amazing girlfriend. I am just extremely needy and emotional. I'm supportive though. A definite ride or die. I feel like I fell in love with a man who doesn't love me back as a protective measure. It sounds counter intuitive. I love this person, they don't love me, so they can't abandon me if I never have them? I don't know. I just know I fall hard in love and then my heart aches for that person that I can't have. That is one of my goals for this year. To get out and find someone who will retur

I woke up at 6:45 am to the sound of glass breaking. It was a very rude awakening for someone with PTSD. The staff broke a glass divider in the office. I was hopeful for the new medicine, but I woke up several times during the night and now I'm very sleepy during the day. 8:30 am went back to see the Dr. the Dr. is worried about how severe my PTSD is. Since my event happened during my sleep I have somniphobia. I do not feel safe during sleep. I wake up several times during the night. I have night terrors. He put me on a medicine called Prozosin. It's a medication they give to war vets with PTSD to stop the night terrors. He is thinking if he can get me sleeping then I will feel better. He also wants me to have a sleep study. He will give it one more night to see how I am feeling before he adds any more medication. I told him about having a really bad night last night and that I was feeling antsy and wanted to leave to hurt myself. He explained it's an addiction.