Disclosure: The product links below are affiliate links. This means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn an affiliate commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase. I bought and paid for the products below. Living with Narcolepsy is difficult. Most of us are scouring the internet looking for anything that will help us feel more awake or to decrease the side effects of our medications.  The supplement industry is not FDA regulated. There are not enough studies on supplements. I will always be open and honest with my readers and never promote anything that I would not personally use. This post will be about the supplements that I use every day, why I use them, and at the bottom of this post is the research I found. Always do your own research and have a discussion with your Physician and Pharmacist before starting a new supplement regimen. Supplements can interact with your current medications, thin your blood, or have other adverse reactions. Please be wary of sup

I am making progress. Albeit, slow progress. I can already see a change in how I think. If I have a negative thought, I acknowledge it then let it go and replace it with a positive thought. I have been writing down what I am grateful for every day in my journal. That has made it routine for me to notice the things that are going right for me. Even when I am not writing. I am getting more comfortable with meditating. In the beginning, I couldn't quiet my mind. Now with practice, I can focus better. I am also noticing when my mind starts racing that I can recognize and stop it. I am slowly adding physical activity. Right now I am doing 10 minutes of cardio about 3 times a week. I am trying to make it an everyday thing. It has been hard since I still have a lot of anxiety and I haven't been feeling well. Which really sucks because exercise is one of the best things for anxiety.  Something shifted in my brain this week. Mental illness and Narcolepsy have stolen a lot of

 I have treatment-resistant depression. That means that I have tried all the medications available to me and nothing is helping my depression. I have been hospitalized twice in the past 10 months for suicide attempts. I do want to get better. I go to therapy once a week, DBT group therapy once a week, and I take my medicine as prescribed. I am taking fish oil, B vitamins, Inositol, Magnesium, and D3. I use essential oils. I would do anything to make these feelings and thoughts go away. I really want to try Ketamine Infusions. Ketamine is supposed to instantly make suicidal ideations go away. It currently is not covered by my insurance and the infusions are expensive. I will need to save up for them. I want to live, I just want to end my suffering. Until I can save up enough money for my Ketamine Infusions, I am going to try to lessen my symptoms. I have been reading about rewiring your brain to think positively. You can also do things to increase your neuroplasticity which

How does one end up back at rehab? Well I have been feeling the same way I did the first time I went to the hospital. Hopeless, empty, lonely, unloved. I had still been cutting myself. It was getting worse. I was being more self destructive than usual. Last night everything came to a head. I was already feeling that way. Then I took some thc chocolate and drank moonshine on top of that. That escalated everything.  I cut deeper than I usually do. I was scared that I was going to bleed out in my sleep. I called my sister. My sister came over and helped me pack my stuff. She was forcing me to go back to rehab and I agreed to go. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I want to get help so I can move on with my life. She took me to our Mothers house so she could keep an eye on me until the next morning when rehab opened. There was a chance that rehab wouldn't take me back since the last time I was here I tried to kill myself on the property which was a violation of the

Therapy Thursday is now Let's talk Thursday. Same concept with a focus on Mental Health Awareness. I planned for today's topic to be Depression. This morning as I was scrolling Twitter I found out that a popular streamer had committed suicide. The more I read about what he went through, the more I started to connect to him. I live with mental illness. Depression and suicidal ideologies are a part of what I deal with daily. Something I struggle with is that I want so badly to be loved. At the same time, I am so broken and have so much baggage that it is hard for anyone to love me or become close to me and I don't want someone to have to deal with it. I've had friends leave because of it.  I can't be sunshine and rainbows all the time and no one wants to be around that negativity. It runs people off. So what happens is people fake a smile and fake happiness to make everyone around them more comfortable. Positivity attracts positive. I've been trying to be more pos

I have been trying to be more positive. It has been hard but I've been trying to make a valiant effort. I think I'm broken. Imagine taking a crystal vase and dropping it on concrete. Now take all those pieces and try to fit them back together to make a whole Vase again. You may get it together but more than likely you will have pieces missing and it won't be as strong as before. I am like that vase. I know many others are like that vase too. If you put too much pressure on it it will collapse in on itself.  I don't want to shatter the instant someone does something to upset me or doesn't give me the attention I'm needing. I got a new monitor the other day. One I've been waiting for for a while. It's an MSI 240hz monitor. It is supposed to be an excellent gaming monitor to help give me an edge in my competitions. I was so excited to hook it up and see how much better I was going to be. I set up my Twitch stream and got ready for a night of gam

Disclaimer: You may not want to read this post if you are easily triggered by topics of depression, anxiety, suicide, or self-harm. If you are having thoughts of suicide please visit  https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ We are in a very uncertain time. I am currently self quarantining and have not left my house or seen anyone outside of my son in a month. We have ventured out to the store for necessities, but that is all. He had a birthday earlier this month and I had a birthday a couple of days ago. This is usually a fun month. It has honestly been Hell.  When the first news of Coronavirus came about, I was positive. I told everyone that this was probably just blown up by the media. It isn't as bad as everyone thinks. It is going to go away as soon as it came. It wouldn't be long before every ounce of positivity was sucked out of me.  It started when I went to the store the first time after the Coronavirus was on the news and they were telling people to stay home. I j